I've been asked by lot of people what exactly what I would like to do with my life, mostly by my girlfriend of 4 years, to which I reply I've yet to decide. I've given it a lot of thought. My close friend tells me to just return to my previous course which is nursing. With that being said I've consider it many times over yet I can't find the guts to make a firm stand whether I'll take it up or not. After I quit nursing school I thought of becoming a writer. However, I realized that you don't really need a degree to write what's on your mind and earn yourself some followers that will take their time to read what you want to say.
At least that's what I thought.
I tried my hands on nihonggo for a caregiver job in Japan. That too didn't turn out to be productive. I just ended up wasting time and money.
I tried getting a job and luckily enough I landed one at a call center. One good thing about call centers, they pay well and you have tons of benefits that come along with it. Bad thing about it is you gotta do the same old thing day by effing day.
That didn't worked out as well.
I can't seem to make up my mind to what I really would like to be doing. I love to write and yet there are times that it bores me to even think of a good topic to write about. Laziness is my greatest illness that i can't seem to get over. I tried overcoming it and try I did but didn't quite make it. If it wasn't for my girl, only God knows what I'm doing. For all I know I may already be dead.
Enough of that.
I speak ok, write ok and do my job ok. But at the end of the day I still find myself asking what I would rather be doing. At the end of the day I feel like what I'm doing is less than par to what i really should be doing.
For starters, I'd like to get a degree. Question is what kind of degree? To this question I've yet to find my answer. I'd like to at least provide for my family and have them be proud of me. But I guess that's too much to ask given I find the simplest of tasks to be taxing. I could rant all day and use heavy words that will somehow make me look like I know what I'm writing about but that won't make much of a difference. I'd still go home thinking what is it that I would rather be doing instead of ranting.
It would have been better if I could choose from 2 options but I don't even have any options to choose from from the beginning. Or maybe I have but it still hasn’t come to me yet. Is it my ego that gets in the way? Is it that lack of motivation from the person I seek it from the most that is lacking? Or is it just me hindering myself to go and get what I want, given that I already know what that is. I'm so confused. Tired. Getting of sick of myself for not being able to decide what I really want. I'm not getting any younger. Opportunities are quickly depleting. I need to get my ass into gear if I like to do something with my life; I need to make up my mind.
Dear God, please help me find my calling. Amen.
Cheers!
Monday, May 25, 2009
scandal... Again!
Everyone loves a scandal. We love it so much that this news headlines almost all the newspapers and floods the chatrooms and television. A scandal I thought being more important than the crawling economy of our country, the continuous suffering of our very own people and oportunistic politicians who basks in the attention being given by the masses. There are more pressing issues but I guess those have to wait.
Eventually, it will all boil down to this. If Hayden is proven to have a psychological disorder then he will not go to prison. Instead, his lawyer may find a way to sway the court to just detain his client in a hospital until he is treated of his psychological issues.
Atleast, that's what I would do if he is my client and if I were a lawyer. As for the illicit video, how sure are we that Katrina doesn't know she is being taped? If the sex video was taken at about the same time after the dance video then there is a great chance that she knows about the "hidden" cam. Not only that, she already knows that Hayden has a certain liking of taping it so why have she not made sure that she is not going to star on one of his "collections". I pity Maricar and the Brazilian model that was caught in all these but then again given the nature of the film it's also their fault for not being careful in the 1st place.
Hayden is indeed a sexual pervert who gets his kick off in these kinds of things. Although given the chance that his partners gave their consent to be filmed while they do the nasty and he having no intention of showing the video to anyone else except for their own viewing then it would just all be a fetish that they need to fulfill. But it just isn't so or maybe is it? We’ll never know for sure unless all his partners speak and tell the truth if they gave their consent or not. As per Hayden’s part, it's either he got careless and pissed the wrong people or simply is just suffering from a sexual/psychological disorder. (How convenient)
Eventually, it will all boil down to this. If Hayden is proven to have a psychological disorder then he will not go to prison. Instead, his lawyer may find a way to sway the court to just detain his client in a hospital until he is treated of his psychological issues.
Atleast, that's what I would do if he is my client and if I were a lawyer. As for the illicit video, how sure are we that Katrina doesn't know she is being taped? If the sex video was taken at about the same time after the dance video then there is a great chance that she knows about the "hidden" cam. Not only that, she already knows that Hayden has a certain liking of taping it so why have she not made sure that she is not going to star on one of his "collections". I pity Maricar and the Brazilian model that was caught in all these but then again given the nature of the film it's also their fault for not being careful in the 1st place.
Hayden is indeed a sexual pervert who gets his kick off in these kinds of things. Although given the chance that his partners gave their consent to be filmed while they do the nasty and he having no intention of showing the video to anyone else except for their own viewing then it would just all be a fetish that they need to fulfill. But it just isn't so or maybe is it? We’ll never know for sure unless all his partners speak and tell the truth if they gave their consent or not. As per Hayden’s part, it's either he got careless and pissed the wrong people or simply is just suffering from a sexual/psychological disorder. (How convenient)
Friday, May 22, 2009
you be the judge
I’ve been reading this post from a certain forum about the insights/feeling of MPA’s or massage parlor attendants. For the others who do not know what they do, they provide massage to their customers and “extra services” to those who are willing to pay them enough. But not all MPA does this kind of “ES” or extra service. But for those that who do it, it is their choice on why they got into this trade and be subjected to the ever critical eyes of the society. But then again they are just like the others who have experienced difficulties in their lives. Some may say that they took the easiest way out but can you call it easy by pretending you are enjoying what you do even if others are using your very soul for their delight? I think not.
On the thread that I read, these ladies took a path they know that will change their lives forever so that they can reach their dreams and make a life for their families. Although not being able to be of moral standings, at least they did not resort to violence or crime. Please do not get me wrong. I am not against nor approved on what they do for a living.
These ladies are only asking for one simple thing. RESPECT. Some may find it funny, and some just downright hilarious. But let's face facts these ladies wouldn't exist if there was no demand for what they do. So with the rising numbers of "professionals" I think business is good.
They are still people with feelings and problems of their own that we can only just imagine how grave to have pushed them to resort to this kind of work. So please let's try to keep an open mind and ponder for a bit before we act or say anything. Are they really worth your ridicule and judgment? Are they that bad to have hoped for something a little bit better for themselves and families? Are we any different from them to have dreamt of having a normal peaceful life? I leave the rest to you my dear readers ( if i have any that is).
On the thread that I read, these ladies took a path they know that will change their lives forever so that they can reach their dreams and make a life for their families. Although not being able to be of moral standings, at least they did not resort to violence or crime. Please do not get me wrong. I am not against nor approved on what they do for a living.
These ladies are only asking for one simple thing. RESPECT. Some may find it funny, and some just downright hilarious. But let's face facts these ladies wouldn't exist if there was no demand for what they do. So with the rising numbers of "professionals" I think business is good.
They are still people with feelings and problems of their own that we can only just imagine how grave to have pushed them to resort to this kind of work. So please let's try to keep an open mind and ponder for a bit before we act or say anything. Are they really worth your ridicule and judgment? Are they that bad to have hoped for something a little bit better for themselves and families? Are we any different from them to have dreamt of having a normal peaceful life? I leave the rest to you my dear readers ( if i have any that is).
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Please Do Not Read
What's up with the title. I bet you read it and then raised an eyebrow thinking that this is a chain mail of some sort.
God I hate those, don't you?!?
It'll starts like an interesting story about a tragic love, accident, charity, or the religions and then after reading thru it it will ask you to send it to a number of people to avoid the curse that was attached to that mail. Bloody good for nothing chaps who made this may be laughing that their so called curse is making it's way thru the net flooding forums, emails and personal net spaces.
What's interesting though is that regardless how idiotic an email is we still read it and do as it says(i.e send it to 10 people...). Is it out of fear or anxiety that the said curse will take effect once we break the chain? Chain letters have been around as far back as I can remember. Back in high school where bored students abound does this kind of things. It may be acceptable to see that the sender is just a youngster but what ticks me off is that adults does the same and not only that they have multiple posts of the mail on one thread. I mean c'mon. I know there's freedom of speech but this is ridiculous. This is no longer freedom this is abuse. I guess it's the innate reaction every human has that does what we are told. Although for me breaking rules is not as fun as obeying them so why not not obey it and just ignore it so the hype will just die a natural death.
Also, it's sad that they actually use innocent photographs from the net to further make their letters appealing and believable and even use religious figures to corner the receipient and thus maximize the email that is sent through out. How many times have you cleaned you mailbox of these mails only to be filled with another hundred more. It actually amazes me jhow persisten these people are. You gotta ask don't they have better things to do than sit there in their sorry orroms and make stuff like these? There's a whole world out there it wouldn't hurt you to get out and get a life.
With respect(or the lack of it) to the topic I'll end this here with a note:
"if you don't repost/forward this in less than a gazillion folks in 5 seconds..... nothing absolutely nothing will happen to you.
Cheers!
God I hate those, don't you?!?
It'll starts like an interesting story about a tragic love, accident, charity, or the religions and then after reading thru it it will ask you to send it to a number of people to avoid the curse that was attached to that mail. Bloody good for nothing chaps who made this may be laughing that their so called curse is making it's way thru the net flooding forums, emails and personal net spaces.
What's interesting though is that regardless how idiotic an email is we still read it and do as it says(i.e send it to 10 people...). Is it out of fear or anxiety that the said curse will take effect once we break the chain? Chain letters have been around as far back as I can remember. Back in high school where bored students abound does this kind of things. It may be acceptable to see that the sender is just a youngster but what ticks me off is that adults does the same and not only that they have multiple posts of the mail on one thread. I mean c'mon. I know there's freedom of speech but this is ridiculous. This is no longer freedom this is abuse. I guess it's the innate reaction every human has that does what we are told. Although for me breaking rules is not as fun as obeying them so why not not obey it and just ignore it so the hype will just die a natural death.
Also, it's sad that they actually use innocent photographs from the net to further make their letters appealing and believable and even use religious figures to corner the receipient and thus maximize the email that is sent through out. How many times have you cleaned you mailbox of these mails only to be filled with another hundred more. It actually amazes me jhow persisten these people are. You gotta ask don't they have better things to do than sit there in their sorry orroms and make stuff like these? There's a whole world out there it wouldn't hurt you to get out and get a life.
With respect(or the lack of it) to the topic I'll end this here with a note:
"if you don't repost/forward this in less than a gazillion folks in 5 seconds..... nothing absolutely nothing will happen to you.
Cheers!
comment on multiply
the following is a comment I posted on one of the multiply sites regarding a blog entry of a rather sensitive nature. Surprisingly there are a number of people who took offense on what I said and completely overlook the main sense of the piece. Here it goes:
jonascruz2085 wrote today at 4:24 AM, edited today at 4:28 AM
This is the internet folks shared by billions of people coming from different walks of life and having brought up differently as well and influenced by different surroundings. With this being said each of us here are entitled to our own opinions and feelings about the topic but that doesn't mean that we can abuse that right. This topic has been posted(i think) to pique the interests of its readers and not to lure people out who has done the act of having a mistress or being one to be judged and persecuted by the people who has a different POV. Regardless of how clean our conscience are that still doesn't give us the right to throw hurtful words or judge a person just because of a mistake he/she has committed.
Ladies and gents easy on the comments and accusations towards other people. I know the topic is really sensitive but please do try to think first about the implications of what you're about to say whether it may be good or not. There are a lot who may misunderstood what you meant. To the others, all of your opinions are really meaningful and really understandable, but please no matter what happens let us not throw words that directly disrespect the other people's POV.
To nicefreak, having found out that you're not the only one must have been really tough. I commend you for being able to rise above it and give another crack at the marriage. Nicely done.
For Dean, it's really brave that you did what you did. You came out and spilled a personal part of yourself here. I know you have your reasons. reasons that may actually help us to further know why "mistresses" are what they are. If you are immediately judged and incarcerated by the others, on behalf of them I apologize. Please try to keep an even broader mind and try to understand their reactions as well. Yes it does take 2 to tango both in marriage and having a mistress. With the lack of commitment on the former would sometimes equate on having the latter.
The wife should know her responsibilities not only to her child but also to her husband. The husband should always prioritize his family for it to be a give and take relationship.
To skdeleon, very interesting post. I never thought this would get the feedback it did from the others. Awaiting for your next "very interesting" entree. ^_^
P and C. Patience and Commitment. And at rarity...Love.
Cheers to you all.
Disclaimer: I am not a sympathizer of such nor a con of the topic at hand. all i am here for is to learn from minds that I believe are better than mine and try to understand their own opinions. Neutrality to absorb as much knowledge as I can is my purpose.
jonascruz2085 wrote today at 4:24 AM, edited today at 4:28 AM
This is the internet folks shared by billions of people coming from different walks of life and having brought up differently as well and influenced by different surroundings. With this being said each of us here are entitled to our own opinions and feelings about the topic but that doesn't mean that we can abuse that right. This topic has been posted(i think) to pique the interests of its readers and not to lure people out who has done the act of having a mistress or being one to be judged and persecuted by the people who has a different POV. Regardless of how clean our conscience are that still doesn't give us the right to throw hurtful words or judge a person just because of a mistake he/she has committed.
Ladies and gents easy on the comments and accusations towards other people. I know the topic is really sensitive but please do try to think first about the implications of what you're about to say whether it may be good or not. There are a lot who may misunderstood what you meant. To the others, all of your opinions are really meaningful and really understandable, but please no matter what happens let us not throw words that directly disrespect the other people's POV.
To nicefreak, having found out that you're not the only one must have been really tough. I commend you for being able to rise above it and give another crack at the marriage. Nicely done.
For Dean, it's really brave that you did what you did. You came out and spilled a personal part of yourself here. I know you have your reasons. reasons that may actually help us to further know why "mistresses" are what they are. If you are immediately judged and incarcerated by the others, on behalf of them I apologize. Please try to keep an even broader mind and try to understand their reactions as well. Yes it does take 2 to tango both in marriage and having a mistress. With the lack of commitment on the former would sometimes equate on having the latter.
The wife should know her responsibilities not only to her child but also to her husband. The husband should always prioritize his family for it to be a give and take relationship.
To skdeleon, very interesting post. I never thought this would get the feedback it did from the others. Awaiting for your next "very interesting" entree. ^_^
P and C. Patience and Commitment. And at rarity...Love.
Cheers to you all.
Disclaimer: I am not a sympathizer of such nor a con of the topic at hand. all i am here for is to learn from minds that I believe are better than mine and try to understand their own opinions. Neutrality to absorb as much knowledge as I can is my purpose.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Creative Writing
One of the reason's that I got myself in this blog is the fact that I talk a lot and finding someone who could relate and actually respond to my rants is a skill itself. I figured why not just make a blog and just type away. This way I can release my thoughts and just rant all day long without thinking if someone has a violent reaction on the pieces that I compose.
Also, writing soothes me. It's a form of expression where I can just vent out about the things that pissed me. It's a non-violent act of getting back or just being angry without causing harm and/or discomfort to others. All these rants and so called reviews lead to the point where my girl told me to apply for a creative writing job. My only predicament. When I am ask to write, that is the time that I can't think of anything to write about. My mind shuts off and my fingers won't move.
It will be different once you are asked to write rather than just write to your own accord.
Cheers!
Also, writing soothes me. It's a form of expression where I can just vent out about the things that pissed me. It's a non-violent act of getting back or just being angry without causing harm and/or discomfort to others. All these rants and so called reviews lead to the point where my girl told me to apply for a creative writing job. My only predicament. When I am ask to write, that is the time that I can't think of anything to write about. My mind shuts off and my fingers won't move.
It will be different once you are asked to write rather than just write to your own accord.
Cheers!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
4th anniversary
It's our 4th year anniversary. And what do i have to show up for.... nothing, just a measly half a dozen white roses and a little card. Sucks being broke. She texted me earlier that it's really beautiful in which I replied that it is an understatement compared to how lucky I am for finding her and sharing the love we have for one another. I couldn't even pick her up from the office and treat her out to dinner.
damn schedule.
I swear I'ma make it up to her on Saturday.
damn schedule.
I swear I'ma make it up to her on Saturday.
Friday, May 8, 2009
onatology
It's amazing how time flies when you're having fun. All the laughter and brainless remarks are just priceless. Makes you wish that this never ends. Sadly, sooner or later, it has to.
My best buddy has left for Japan last Sunday.
I have mixed feelings about it. I'm glad that he finally got what he had been working for the most part of his life and that is going to the country which he loves so much and has a great fascination to.
Sad because my "wingman" will be miles away and the gimiks and talks will just never be the same.
I've treated my best bud as my very own brother to the extent that I already consider him a part of the family and my family considers him as one as well. "I watch your back you watch mine" that's how it goes for us. On the group he is the moderator when me or Rob are on the verge of doing something stupid. He poses as the big brother who lends us a hand when we're in need and also serves as the punisher when one of us messes up. He is basically the life of the party because of his signature laughs and "accidental" boastfulness. Although at times he can be such a pain to deal with because of his sudden mood swings. but it's all good.
A few days ago I received an email from him telling me how weird it was to be alone in a foreign country, how there's a lot of hipon there and how he's been doing for the past few days. I told him to just keep safe and be mindful of the people he comes across with.
This week has been a little weird. Mainly because I'm almost running solo when before he's just a text away for a drinking session or just a chill out at the local cafe. So far me and rob's keeping in-touch but it's just not the way it used to be. From the loud obnoxious people that we are when he was still here we're now a more reserved and subtle folks when we go out.
We miss him.
Now don't get me wrong we miss him on a non faggot way nor I am trying be defensive or anything. The trio has been together for as long as 10 years. It's just weird with the sudden change and all. Even if we have very busy schedules from our work and families we still manage to get together and just have a good time regardless where we are or how much money we have. Sometimes even if we're all flat broke we could still mange to have a good time.
It's all about the camaraderie that was formed from years of watching each others backs.
My best buddy has left for Japan last Sunday.
I have mixed feelings about it. I'm glad that he finally got what he had been working for the most part of his life and that is going to the country which he loves so much and has a great fascination to.
Sad because my "wingman" will be miles away and the gimiks and talks will just never be the same.
I've treated my best bud as my very own brother to the extent that I already consider him a part of the family and my family considers him as one as well. "I watch your back you watch mine" that's how it goes for us. On the group he is the moderator when me or Rob are on the verge of doing something stupid. He poses as the big brother who lends us a hand when we're in need and also serves as the punisher when one of us messes up. He is basically the life of the party because of his signature laughs and "accidental" boastfulness. Although at times he can be such a pain to deal with because of his sudden mood swings. but it's all good.
A few days ago I received an email from him telling me how weird it was to be alone in a foreign country, how there's a lot of hipon there and how he's been doing for the past few days. I told him to just keep safe and be mindful of the people he comes across with.
This week has been a little weird. Mainly because I'm almost running solo when before he's just a text away for a drinking session or just a chill out at the local cafe. So far me and rob's keeping in-touch but it's just not the way it used to be. From the loud obnoxious people that we are when he was still here we're now a more reserved and subtle folks when we go out.
We miss him.
Now don't get me wrong we miss him on a non faggot way nor I am trying be defensive or anything. The trio has been together for as long as 10 years. It's just weird with the sudden change and all. Even if we have very busy schedules from our work and families we still manage to get together and just have a good time regardless where we are or how much money we have. Sometimes even if we're all flat broke we could still mange to have a good time.
It's all about the camaraderie that was formed from years of watching each others backs.
I don't really know how to end this, actually I don't want this to end. But then again it's not the end yet is it? It'll just be a long pause for the TBB's escapades and misadventures. Only time will tell on where we will be in the future, only time will tell if the friendship will be as strong as it was before. But I'm pretty confident that the brotherhood will not be weaken and will only strengthen as it goes.
So on behalf of the TBB, Take care of yourself there and keep safe. The next drinks are on you my friend! (sorry for the title man as you know your "name" already stuck or maybe you'd prefer to be call "bouncy", geez)
Until my next post. Cheers!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
