Ramblings

I'm bored to my wits here. It's not that there's really nothing much to do but rather I'd like to go somewhere I've never been. I just wanna drive and head to nowhere. Load up on gas and just drive up north or down south until I can't drive no more. I'm still looking for that escape of escapes that will let me think about what i really want in life and what really matters. Everyday seems to be a blur. A repetitive loop that doesn't seem to be leading to someting interesting.

I'd though a lot of writing about me and my friends or me and my lvoe lie or something that is more fictional than my life itself. But the white bull steadily locks it's gaze on me and sucks all my thoughts away. I don't know where to begin....

Just took a call.

Now where was I? Right, where to begin. I'm not really sure... I'm not really sure for the most part of my life. Decisions that have come to pass were not as smart as they should be or as my dad expects it to be. I've been working for almost 2 years and still haven't got much to show for. I get bored easily. It's actually a surprise to me that I managed to be in a relationship that will be almost 4 years with the same girl. Mainly because she's doing her part more than I was doing mine.

Just paused for a while to get another call. Done.

My friends once asked me If I plan on working for somebody else for the rest of my life. I told him "no". partly true and partly a lie.

True, because I don't want to take orders for the rest of my life.

Lie, because I can't seem to know what my next move will be.

It's frustrating knowing that I can ask for my dad's advice but I can't. I just can't find the strength to bring myself and ask him for help. For all I know he'll just tell me to go back to school and finish nursing. Part of myself wants to but about 3/4 of me doesn't want to.

Just took another call. Done.

I've been in this industry for the longest time. Some of my friends tell me that I was made for this job but I believe otherwise. *Sigh*

How about I just go into exile and really think of what I really want to do with my life? But then again, there's really no assurance that I'd get that piece of mind on what to do or what will my next step be.

Got a brief scare there. QA showed up from nowhere and advised me about some pointers I should always remember. Now I remember she's coaching my seatmate here and the mock calls reminded me of how dumb I was before I all got the hang of it. Difference is, He's better than i was during my initial calls. Anyhow, I'm already getting tired of rambling. Hopefully I'd get a thought of what to do next during my silence.

Cheers!